Reaction Testing

And there he sat, looking at her, wondering if he could tell her what had been residing in his heart for so long.

“How would she react?” he thought.

“If you’ve got something to tell me,” she said, “just tell me. Don’t bottle it up!”

This was it. He knew that though his telling her what was on his mind probably wouldn’t upset her, it would cause her to think of him in a different light. His current thought was what you might call, weird, as much of his thoughts were.

But this was bordering on the wrong side of ridiculous, and he didn’t want her to think him mad.

“Hell, if she wants to be with me,” he thought, “then she’d accept me as who I am, weird thoughts and all.”

And thus, it goes, he tells her what was on his mind.

She looks at him, face scrunched up in wonderment, and punches him in the arm. And laughs.

Inwardly he heaves a sigh of relief, while outwardly, smiling with a cavalier air, he pulls her close and laughs with her.

The reaction recorded, he knew he could be himself with her from now on.

Tired

I’m feeling so tired now, and yet, I refuse to sleep. Every time I lay on the bed and close my eyes, I think about all the other things that I could be doing. It’s the opportunity cost of sleeping that’s getting to me. I just cannot stand giving up everything else that I could be doing for sleep. Like, say, writing this entry.

The Girlfriend and the Close Friend

And so, one day, you decide to get romantically involved with some girl. For the first few days, weeks even, everything goes great. Your friends are happy for you, some ecstatic even, and they congratulate you on your new-found love.

But due to your commitments to this new-found love, you start spending less time with them. You don’t even notice it at first, but they bring it up to you.

“You’re spending all your time with her,” they say, trying to remind you of the fact that you’ve only known her for a year, while you’ve known them for 10.

When you think about it, you realise that (but never say aloud) that’s precisely why you’re spending more time with her.

One day a close friend quarrels with your new-found love. It just so happens they’re about to pounce on each other when you enter the room and stop them. She looks at you, hoping that you’d defend her, while he looks at you, thinking, “f***ing hell, if he says anything in her defence I’m gonna rip his head off.”

You look at them, and start thinking, “this is gonna be interesting,” and just stand there. They anticipate your next move, but your lack of moves leaves them both perplexed and annoyed. You understand one thing: whatever you do, whatever you say, whoever you choose to side with, you’re screwed. And so you just stand there.

You try to break the tension by telling a joke. Before you’ve even gotten to the punchline, you’ve managed to get them both on the same side. They start smiling and talking to each other again, and the conversation is interspersed with punches and kicks thrown in your direction. Though you hurt plenty physically, you’re glad inside that you’ve managed to get them to be friends once more.

Looking Toward the Future

I have neglected this website for quite a while now. The reasons, I am sure, are probably many. Probably, I say, because I, myself, honestly find it hard to pin-point an exact reason why, and when I do, I find it isn’t very accurate or true at all.

Self-Censorship?

But allow me to admit that one of the reasons, most likely than most, has been because I sometimes fear what I say here will return to haunt me. I love to write about my interactions with people, about both my thoughts and feelings about them. But when you start realising that the people of whom you write about do, on occasion, read about themselves on your website, it does make you feel a tad apprehensive about pressing the “Publish” button, especially when what you have got to say is not as positive as you’d think that person would like, or when it is likely to cause misunderstandings.

(As a side note, there have been times I’ve written negatively — constructive criticism, one might say — about people, in the hope that they’d read it.)

Thinking About the Future

I have been thinking quite a bit about the future of late. I can’t really say for sure, but I think that it may have something to do with my getting into a romantic relationship.

In case you haven’t already heard, I’m now involved with a girl, called Lishya.

Some Background on Lishya

I’ve actually been in a relationship with her for the past three weeks, but for the above-mentioned reasons, I have been hesitant about proclaiming it on edonn.com.

But, I think, sufficient time has passed, most of the dust has settled, and it’s time to let the world know.

For friends (and strangers) whom are unfamiliar with her, Lishya’s been my hostel mate (in Currie Hall)for the past year or so. We took the same unit last semester (Economic and Business Statistics), but even during the first semester often studied together. How romance came about between us I don’t know, and I doubt she does either.

We hadn’t really thought of each other as potential romantic partners before — just good friends and nothing more — and our getting together has surprised even ourselves.

Retirement

I guess it might prove strange for some that a 23-year-old would talk about retirement, but if not now, when?

I recently rediscovered an old audiobook of mine called The Automatic Millionaire, by David Bach. Listening to it on my way to work a couple of weeks ago, I was reminded of how important it was for me, if I was interested in retiring financially free, to start saving and investing as early as possible. Being relatively young, I had the advantage of time, a critical component of the magical compound interest.

I was once more inspired to reorganise my finances, and, subsequently, the rest of my life.

Financially, I have been lucky to have had the positive influence of both my parents.

My mom has investment savvy, and a propensity to save. She is, however, a little less inclined to sacrifice comfort for money (car vs. bus), and she’d almost never go for second-hand or refurbished things. My dad, on the other hand, is not so investment savvy. He doesn’t save much, and digs his 4D. However, he has a knack for bargaining and findings good deals on everyday items, and is more than willing to go for second-hand things if he finds value in it.

In terms of investment savvy, I do believe that I’m pretty well financially educated. I also have a huge propensity to save, while being willing to rough it out in terms of comfort (bus and train for me please, if I’m not driving anyone else around). I’ll go for second-hand so long as I believe it’s of greater value (my handphone and computer are second-hand), while I have some talent in bargaining (especially for things I know the true value of, like computers and running shoes), and I do try to find good deals on everyday items whenever I can. I guess one problem I have is that I am quite often penny-wise pound-foolish, sometimes spending time and money shopping around only to shave off a bit here and there.

eDonn.com

I’ve given this website some thought. The money that I spend on this site might be used for other things. I could use the money saved in investing, say, or saving it. But I think that I deserve an indulgence or two every once in a while. But what I think I’m going to do is to see if it’s possible to cut costs, probably by moving to a cheaper hosting company or something.

eDonn.com has brought me lots of fun and joy, but I’m starting to feel a little indifferent to it. I’ll see how it goes.

And Lishya, you’re the first name I mentioned here in a while. Feel proud. 🙂

Oh, what the heck, here’s a shoutout to everyone else (drop me a comment if I missed you!):
hey wei hao, happy burning the house down wahaha
eh-oh athena, may you not have to write too many malayu reports! 😛
hello wilson chen, the one in nz now, whose birthday i forgot! (so sorry!)
hi amanda, who’d have known, eh??
heya han, how’s china? cool eh?
still jogging zixuan? 2.4! woohoo
jason, meet you someday at coffee-bean ya?
boon tiong, jia ling, li ling and chon eng!!! hello!
dominic (still travelling like siao ah?) and sean (mr. adidas! sorry i couldn’t go stand chart man, fever!)
and mr chan wei hao, missed your new age mambo jambo man….
rachel, i know i haven’t contacted you in ages, but, heh, it’s just too weird now… i’m pretty sure you understand.
mr. steffen zorn, who left a comment on my site! you’re way too cool for uwa 🙂
ken, i want more anime!
oh man, who have i missed out?? i’m pretty sure there’s plenty of you, but wahaha,

anyways, to everyone, here’s wishing you a merry christmas and happy new year!

On Writing

It’s been ages since I have last written here. Going through the history of this site, I think that there’s a sort of pattern that I can follow. During the more active times of my life, I tend to write quite a bit less, and during the times of my life where I have a little too much time to think, I write a whole lot more.

Let’s just say that the past few weeks have been loaded with activities.

Exam Results are Out

Ooh! The examination results are out! To think that they’d actually release the results early (this being Australia and all).

I did fairly well. Ok, I did WELL beyond what I had expected, and even better than last semester!

And it seems my friends did pretty well too, heh, so overall great for everyone!

I didn’t really put in as much “studying” effort this semester, and was actually trying to learn on a more, might I say, holistic level? In fact, this semester was supposed to be a sort of a break from the rigours of last semester! Who’d have known?

This is not to say I didn’t put in effort into my work. I did. But it was different.

Oh well, I don’t really know how to explain it, but woohoo! Congrats to all who did better than they expected (and those who hit their expectations!)

On Right and Wrong and the Pitfalls of Advice

A man who beats his wife.
A wife who gets beaten.
A farmer, a businessman, and a preacher.
The man who buys the lottery and loses.
The man who buys the lottery and wins.
A man who drives too fast all the time.
A man who treats speed limits on roads as the word of the Lord.
A woman who decides to dedicate her life to teaching.
A woman who changes careers like she does a blouse.
A man who buys a Mac.
A woman who buys a PC.
A woman who prefers black.
A man who prefers blue.
A man who undergoes surgery to become a she.
A woman who undergoes surgery to become a he.

Who is to say whether or not the life we lead is right or wrong? The only thing we can say is that the lives we lead are different. Let us not judge, for judging presupposes that there is a right and there is a wrong.

On Advising Others

Most of the time we judge based on our past experiences, for that is all we have. But our past experiences are not always right. By doing something because it was successful the last time is the thinking of a sound mind. But even sound minds do not always get it right.

Learning through past experiences can often work for ourselves. We know our own limits, our own character, our own personality, better than most. But when we try to advise others through what we have learnt last time, we have to understand that not everyone’s like us.

When we advise others, we cannot demand that they follow our advice word-for-word. They may not think or feel the same, and may not have the skills necessary to carry out the plans you have devised for them.

Advice often attempts to make a person bypass the failure stage, which may be crucial for learning. If a person does not try and fail, he may not learn how to handle failure, or should difficulties occur at a later stage, he may be at a disadvantage.