There was one time I was feeling envious of a peer. I knew it was a problem, for I felt that most other things in my life were in order — save for this rather uncontrollable emotion. I decided to turn to the internet for help. I searched the phrase “overcoming envy”, hoping for a website that would help me do just that: overcome envy.
She watched the plane as it took off, trying her best to hold back the tears that flowed. She had been preparing for this day for the past few months. She remembered how he broke the news to her: the dinner; the wine; the soft lighting.
Continue reading “The Job Posting”
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of the bestselling book Flow, writes in his follow-up book Finding Flow that being happy alone does not mean we have a good quality of life; rather, he says that it is what we do — not how happy we are — that determines the quality. I do not agree — there is no such thing as quality of life, only the subjective experience of it.
Lately, I’ve been bothered by a lack of purpose in my life. I’ve officially graduated, having received my final semester results a couple of days ago (they were average — more or less what I had expected). Up until then, I had told myself I deserved a little break, and that I could do whatever I wanted, even if it meant sleeping in and eating like a pig. I told myself that I’d start life proper after my results were released. Well, the results are released, but I haven’t quite started living.
Seriously, everyday since my results have been released where I remained a purposeless graduate have felt like nails on a blackboard — harmless but excruciatingly painful. I’ve escaped into the media, watching television and reading the newspapers; played computer games, even completing a game I’ve had for a couple of years but never played (Resident Evil 4); and surfing the net for inspiration (no luck there).
I feel like I’m in limbo, not quite knowing what to do with myself. Like Michael Jackson‘s fabulous song Wanna be starting somethin’, it’s too high to get over, and too low to get under, and the pain’s like thunder.
I wonder if all graduates feel this way; and if not, what is going on in their minds? Most of the people I know still have half a year to a year left of their degree, unfortunately, making it hard for me to look to peers for some inspiration.
What am I to do with myself?
I recently finished Milan Kundera‘s book The Eternal Lightness of Being. This has been the first novel I’ve read in years, and I must say it doesn’t disappointment. Although I’m not a fan of authors breaking the fourth wall, it was relatively infrequent and not excessive. The stories (the book revolves around a few protagonists) were good, based largely on the theme of our being only able to live this life once, without possibility of living life again and learning from our mistakes. What I especially liked was how his philosophy on life and love seemed so close to mine (– don’t we often love things similar to ourselves?) Continue reading “The Eternal Lightness of Being”
If you’ve ever wondered about why Microsoft Windows attracts so many viruses, and why Macs have essentially none (yet), maybe this will help you understand: the market share of Windows has just dropped below 90% (the lowest it has ever been), while Apple just issued a “recommendation” for Mac users to start using anti-virus software. It just isn’t fun targeting the underdog. The problem for Apple is that it’s increasingly becoming less of one.
I’m back in Singapore for good! Hmm. Not sure what else is there to say about that. Heh.