Nails on a blackboard

Lately, I’ve been bothered by a lack of purpose in my life. I’ve officially graduated, having received my final semester results a couple of days ago (they were average — more or less what I had expected). Up until then, I had told myself I deserved a little break, and that I could do whatever I wanted, even if it meant sleeping in and eating like a pig. I told myself that I’d start life proper after my results were released. Well, the results are released, but I haven’t quite started living.

Seriously, everyday since my results have been released where I remained a purposeless graduate have felt like nails on a blackboard — harmless but excruciatingly painful. I’ve escaped into the media, watching television and reading the newspapers; played computer games, even completing a game I’ve had for a couple of years but never played (Resident Evil 4); and surfing the net for inspiration (no luck there).

I feel like I’m in limbo, not quite knowing what to do with myself. Like Michael Jackson‘s fabulous song Wanna be starting somethin’, it’s too high to get over, and too low to get under, and the pain’s like thunder.

I wonder if all graduates feel this way; and if not, what is going on in their minds? Most of the people I know still have half a year to a year left of their degree, unfortunately, making it hard for me to look to peers for some inspiration.

What am I to do with myself?