Secret Love

Hello, secret love.

Secret Love, Doris Day

Once I had a secret love
That lived within the heart of me
All too soon my secret love
Became impatient to be free

So I told the friendly star
The way that dreamers often do
Just how wonderful you are
And why I’m so in love with you

Now I shout it from the highest hills
Even told the golden daffodils
At last my heart’s an open door
And my secret love’s no secret anymore

“Sorry, you’re just a friend to me.”

And that’s what she said to him right after he had revealed his romantic interest in her.

He stood there, bewildered, for a moment or two, then he started to smile.

“That’s what life is about isn’t it?” he asked her.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, averting his gaze.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. Don’t worry about it babe.”

He walked over to the window and, looking out into the great expanse before him, added, “life goes on.”

And so it did. He died 52 years later, while she died 63 years after the fact, both happily married — to different people.

"Sorry, you're just a friend to me."

And that’s what she said to him right after he had revealed his romantic interest in her.

He stood there, bewildered, for a moment or two, then he started to smile.

“That’s what life is about isn’t it?” he asked her.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, averting his gaze.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. Don’t worry about it babe.”

He walked over to the window and, looking out into the great expanse before him, added, “life goes on.”

And so it did. He died 52 years later, while she died 63 years after the fact, both happily married — to different people.

Energy Savings with Blackle?

I came across a site called Blackle (via Slashdot).

Apparently, it suggests that Google should change its webpage’s background colour from white to black, in an effort to reduce energy consumption.

From the page:

Blackle saves energy because the screen is predominantly black. “Image displayed is primarily a function of the user’s color settings and desktop graphics, as well as the color and size of open application windows; a given monitor requires more power to display a white (or light) screen than a black (or dark) screen.” Roberson et al, 2002

[…] the theory that a black version of the Google search engine would save a fair bit of energy due to the popularity of the search engine.

When I first read about the idea, I thought that it was a unique but unpractical idea. Immediately I thought about how difficult it would be to read text displayed, and how uncomfortable.

Still, I ventured on and decided to take Blackle for a spin. After about five minutes of miscellaneous searching, I found that my eyes were getting really uncomfortable.

Ironically, as my eyes continuously tried, and failed, to adjust, I ended up spending a lot more time trying to read the text of Blackle AND its search results (from white-on-black to black-on-white to white-on-black again (search page to the results page to the search page again), it was torture).

Whatever energy saved on not emitting white (or bright) lights were spent in helping me keep my cool as I got increasingly uncomfortable with the constantly changing colour schemes.

This idea will not work, much as I like the uniqueness and ingenuity of it.

On Disliking People

Bothered by my inability to accept another for who he was, I asked a friend if he himself ever had problems with people.

As far as I was concerned, this friend was well-liked, amiable, and friendly; and if there was anyone who would be accepting of people in general, it would be him.

To my surprise he said that there were people he didn’t like, and whom he didn’t bother trying too hard to like.

“Do you believe,” I asked, “that there are some people whom try as you might, you just cannot seem to accept — whom you just cannot stand?”

He replied in the affirmative, and added, “to me, the world can be divided into three types of people. First, there are those who like you no matter what you do. Second, there are those who hate you no matter you do. And third, there are those whom may swing either way; and it’s up to you to swing them into the first or second category. And these are the people whom we should be concerned about.”

I felt relieved after he had said this.

I had for a long time believed that you should try to make everyone like you. If it meant sacrifices, then so be it. A man with a good heart does not pick and choose who his friends and enemies are: should everyone not be his friend?

But for a particular person, this didn’t work for me. I tried accommodating him, thinking good thoughts about him, infusing my mind with the “best of his life”, like a Greatest Hits compilation album.

But it wasn’t enough.

It isn’t his fault that I don’t like him, and it’s probably mostly (if not entirely) mine… but how do I stop feeling like I do?

The Missed Call

He picked up his cellphone and started scrolling through the contacts he had built up over the years.

Reaching her name, his heart skipped a beat. With his finger on the call button, he sighed, and put his cellphone back upon the table from which it had been taken.

He had intended to call her. But at the moment of truth, with just two millimetres separating a call from void, he realised that though he had mustered enough courage to decide to call her, he hadn’t quite mustered enough to actually do it.

Shaking his head in disbelief, he muttered “fuck” and went for a drink of water.

Making Sense of You

Just when I thought one and one made two,
You added into the equation “you”.
Making a loop, pulling it taut,
You entangle my life into a giant knot.

I’m waiting for the day you’d tell me ‘no’,
Tell me to leave, tell me to go.
But you always treat me with ambiguity,
Dowse me with a cold-hot hospitality.

Why do you play with me like you do?
Stealing my heart, tearing it in two?

Oh, forgive my blaming your faultless hands!
I’m just making sense of what I cannot understand…