Delusion of Success

I was just mulling over how I might be more “successful” the other day when I realised that that thought held one very fundamental problem: what did “success” mean to me?

Lately, I’ve been going around sites like Mininova and The Pirate Bay looking for torrents on “success” and “self-improvement”. I like the success genre, and I enjoy reading about how happy I could potentially be. In fact, just thinking about this potential happiness makes me happy.

The success genre of books, once you read enough, is very repetitive:

  1. “We use little of our full potential.” (Open up our possibilities.)
  2. “You are special, too.” (Build our self-esteem.)
  3. “Find your purpose/values.” (Discover what really matters to you.)
  4. “Set your goals.” (Set financial, physical, spiritual, relationship and personal goals.)
  5. “Every journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.” (Break up your goals into smaller goals.)
  6. “Review your goals.” (Daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.)
  7. “Reward yourself for the achievement of goals.” (Positive reinforcement will make your goal-achievement become a habit.)

Of course, there are variants of this theme, but basically this would be it. I’ve always had trouble with the step where we define what our values are, and specifically what our purpose in life is.

When thinking about “what really matters”, I find that I hardly ever am able to comfortably say “this is what really matters to me”. I’ve always felt that these things (our values, life-purpose), though supposedly never-changing, do; they may not change in terms of “yes, I value this” and “no, I do not value this”, but rather in terms of how strongly I value it.

So integrity may in some (most) circumstances be important to me, but in certain circumstances other values can be more important.

Likewise with that strange concept called “purpose” — how does one even find out such a thing? Most authors say everybody’s purpose is different, and that the only way to find out what your purpose is is to think through it, deliberate, and sometimes look to the past or future to find clues to what it may be. That’s easy for them to say. As much as I have tried, that single purpose eludes me. I’ve had short-term “purposes”, but never a long-standing, single “purpose” I could base the rest of my life on.

I think that’s my main problem with “success” — I simply don’t know what it means to me. All my definitions of success, on further introspection, feel derived from what others have wrote or thought about. Sure, as a general abstract notion of success, I seek it; I want it; I covet it.

Give me all the success ‘ya got and I’d think I’d happy! Ha. Bollocks!

Success is devoid of meaning if you don’t know what success means to you.

The Rise of Immigration

The rise of immigrants in Singapore has provoked many Singaporeans into thinking we’re being “invaded”. The same may be said about many developed countries that feel that they’re somehow superior, and that immigrants steal resources from their homeland. However, immigrants are not the only beneficiaries of their immigration: the host country itself stands to benefit.
Continue reading “The Rise of Immigration”

A Love for Coding

Academically, this semester has been strange. I think it has partly to do with the communications unit that I talked about in an earlier post, where the administration and teaching methods are so different from what I’m used to, as well as the fact that two units that I’m taking hold tutorials only on alternate weeks, which messes with my internal timetable a little bit.

But, I think, overall this semester has been fun. I’ve had lots of time for other things, most of which has been devoted to writing code. I’m attempting to write the back-end to eDonn.com, giving it an internal and external makeover, if you will. But when it’d be done is debatable — as much as I’d like to finally implement it after all the effort I put into it, the perfectionist in me won’t let me implement something I feel isn’t “ready”. As a side note, LiShya tries to balance me out by constantly pushing for me to use the things I create — I just think she’s envious of the fact that I spend so much time with my computer and needs some justification!

A Love for Coding

I fell in love with coding (more specifically PHP coding) again after, ironically, helping out LiShya with her business computing unit. I just love the coming up with the logic behind applications; I love seeing my creations being implemented in the real world; and I love the oohs and aahs that come with some of these creations.

I hope I’ll be able to bring out some of my applications soon. I just can’t wait!