“What are you doing?” she asks, after being ignored for the past ten minutes.
“Doing up a photo,” I say.
“Of Arsene?” (Arsene’s my cat.)
“Nope, I’m just doing up a photo.”
And she leaves it at that, letting me be for what seems like five minutes. Then she hears the clickety-click of the keyboard.
“Aren’t you doing up a photo? Why are there typing sounds?” she asks.
“I’m writing something, why?” I reply.
“Oh, nothing.” She says, and returns to watching her show, oblivious to the fact that I’m writing this post in preparation for my proposal tomorrow… will she marry me?
When this post goes live, it will be about two more hours before I pop the question. At that time, we’ll be on the cable car, on our way to Sentosa — and she’ll have no where to run, and no where to hide; and what’s more, she’s afraid of heights — dare she say no?! Ha!
I love you ger ger.
(Bonus picture: look at how oblivious she is to what I’m doing. She looks delightful while she’s watching TV doesn’t she?)
I just thought I’d like to announce that I had gotten myself a new digital SLR. It’s the Olympus E450. Though initially not too thrilled about its lack of an image stabaliser, and seriously considering trading up to an E620 that does, after using it a while I’ve taken quite a liking to it and think that perhaps it’s the better camera for me, since it’d force me to get more creative with the types of shots I take, and how I take them — what can I say? my mostly-positivity-laden brain’s geared toward resolving such small issues as consumer regret.
Due to a start-stop run-training routine, I completed the Army Half Marathon yesterday in what was one of my worst timings ever. I also ended up with terrible muscle aches and a recurrence of an acute pain in my left knee, and as a result I was forced to take medical leave to visit a doctor for some medication to relieve me of some pain, and to allow me to stay at home to recover from the run.
I thought that it would be a good chance for rest and catching up with the rest of my life. What I found was that I spent the whole day practically doing nothing (except rest, of course), feeling rather lethargic and lifeless, and actually wishing that I was at work.
I think that staying at home and “just resting” isn’t quite my idea of a life well lived. Aimless, I didn’t know what to do with myself, and started getting a little depressed by this situation — depressed that I felt so aimless, and depressed that I was feeling depressed.
Then suddenly I thought that I might as well take this time to clean up my room and “organise my life”. I started getting excited again, and the mental anguish I had been in just disappeared. I was now a man with a purpose, and it felt really good.
This whole episode reminded me of a number of books I read on retirement. People who retire often do not know what to do with themselves. This lack of purpose leads them to suffer from depression, and make them long to return to work. As a result, what might had been the happiest part of their lives (where they were free to relax and do what they really wanted) turned out to lead to another phase of suffering.
And since I’m working towards an early retirement, that might just mean that my suffering would start earlier (if my subconscious was thinking about this, I think it’d seek to stop me from earning/saving enough to retire early)!
My ships have been burned – there is no turning back. I am an entrepreneur, there’s simply nothing else for me.
I recall that day in the train, hand-in-hand with the girlfriend. The leaflet she held in her hand was the burning torch that she would use to set alight my salary-man ships.
“Look,” she said, raising the torch in front of me, “they don’t have a website.” And with those words, the fire caught the sails of my ships, and burn they did.
I’m now available for freelancing gigs: online marketing (advertising and copywriting), website design & site maintenance.
eDonn.com: Your e-Marketing Partner – Coming Soon.
Don’t bother thinking too much about whether or not you’re living the life that you should be living, whether you’re doing “the best you can” or whether you’re “living the best life possible” — there is no such thing. But if only it were that easy to stop thinking: what if there is?
Sometimes you’re just minding your own business when out of the blue reality hits you: life is meaningless.
But despite your new-found revelation, you carry on with a big grin on your face, pretending everything’s all right; eventually, you’ll realise life isn’t meaningless or meaningful, and that meaning’s just a construct our brains conjure to make us comfortable with our time here on earth.
Whatever life’s meaning or lack thereof, life goes on; and in any case, it’d probably be a good idea to pretend that life’s meaningful just in case it turns out to really be true. The decision to treat life as meaningful should really be a dominating one — what’s there to lose if we treat it as such?