Running at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH)

I was standing at the traffic junction, waiting for the green man to appear — halfway through my hour run, planning to head to Punggol Park, do a loop or two, and head home — when I glanced across to my left the entrance of Buangkok Medical Centre. And decided to go in.

Buangkok Medical Centre holds what used to be called “Woodbridge Hospital” (I believe now renamed to “IMH” or Institute of Mental Health), and in general it’s not a place one would think about when deciding on where to go for a run. But it seems that someone wanted to make the place more welcoming.

Outside the medical centre were some friendly-looking signs and banners welcoming visitors, from which I learned that there was a 7-Eleven, a restaurant, and a host of other useful ammenities.

And, unbelievably, there was a banner welcoming runners! I can’t remember specifically if it was targetting runners or joggers or the general working-out public, but there it was.

Punggol Park could wait. I had some exploring to do.

The first thing I noticed as I ran in was that there weren’t any signs directing possible runners/joggers/worker-outers. I’d no idea where I was supposed to go, so I just ran on the road and pretended I was a car, following wherever the road led to.

The great thing was that I didn’t have to worry about getting knocked down, a rarity in busy-busy Singapore. The roads and carparks were largely empty (maybe because it was past visiting hours?), and the whole time I was there I think I saw only a couple of cars and taxis (not counting those parked, of course).

I followed the road for a while, running past the main lobby, an A&E (accident and emergency) area, and several sites still under construction. I ran past some people too, for whom I imagined little stories about why they were there (honest-to-goodness truth, some stories I made up were so sad I almost cried). I didn’t see any 7-Eleven or restaurants though, but I suppose they’d have been within the buildings themselves, which I didn’t enter.

Just as I was about to exit the medical centre, thinking what a let down this running experience was, I noticed another runner running down a dark path along the perimeter of the the place, which led deep into IMH. I hadn’t initially thought about going there as I wasn’t sure if it was open to the public or not. So I trailed him a bit, just letting it all sink in and getting my bearings right. Only when I had it confirmed that no wardens were chasing me (and asking me to get out) did I speed up to overtake and head out on my own.

The path was largely unlit, with most of what you’re able to see courtesy of light leaking out from elsewhere. On my left was a steep grass slope down, at the bottom of which was a canal. Beyond the canal was a grass bank with a steep incline, at the top of which was covered with trees; because it was dark and because of the dense foliage, it looked like the trees went on forever, like a forest, though I knew it lasted no more than 50 or 100 metres. I thought about the Shawshank Redemption and other prison movies I’d watched, and I imagined myself having to escape, when I realised how hard it’d be and that any attempt would probably prove futile. I don’t know why, bit I inadvertently fell into a mild depressive state at these thoughts, almost as if I was truly an inmate contemplating escape. Might this be a sign I’d be heading here in the near future? I pray not.

On my right was where the IMH residents were housed. The place was quiet. Eerily quiet. Perhaps I was too far away, or perhaps the rooms were well insulated, I don’t know, but I’d expected to hear some sound — groans, screams, talking.

I continued my run for what seemed like forever (you ever hear of this saying that when you run in an unfamliar place you tend to overestimate the distance?), then made a turn back after I started developing a tummy ache (don’t ask).

On my way back, the eerie silence was suddenly punctured by screams coming from one of the rooms, and pretty far away too (which gives you some clue as to how loud it was). I seriously felt like I was watching a movie. No, I felt like I was in a movie. I had a real fear that someone would come from behind, knock me out, put me in a room and label me mad. The rest of the way I kept playing the scene out in my head, wondering how best to prove my sanity.

“I’m sane! I’m not mad!” I’d say to them. And they’d nod in agreement (“that’s what they all say” they’d tell each other) as they placed me back in my room.

Looking out into the block of HDB flats a distance away, I thought about the lives of those people living there, looking down into the thinking about the crazies; and I also wondered how I’d take being committed to a place like this, looking out and imagining what being out’d be like.

I wondered about sanity, what it was and wasn’t, and whether I was sane or just faking it.

I’m still not sure.

What is edonn.com really about?

Sometimes I wonder what edonn.com’s really all about.

On the one hand I’m always longing for greater readership, hoping that perhaps one day there’ll be so many people coming to this website that I’ll be famous and, banking on that fame become really wealthy.

On the other hand, edonn.com’s such a personal space that if anything DOES make me famous it’s probably not going to be anything good.

I suppose if I’m going to go the fame and wealth way I could transform edonn.com into something actually USEFUL for people. But I’m going to keep it semi-personal though. I love the fact that though there really aren’t that many people who visit my site, there are enough to think that some people I care about do visit it (there’s a chance; a small chance, but a chance nonetheless).

I often write things I wouldn’t quite know how to express in person. Things like love-related poems or prose, too mushy and tinge-worthy for real life, work especially well in bits and bytes. Or work-related frustrations that could be too raw for Facebook, but be perfectly ambivalent enough for a blog, by virtue of it’s being less personal.

One of the great things about writing in a place like edonn.com is that I don’t get so many visitors that I’d be wary to post anything too controversial (like how if I wrote erm, “vote for the Worker’s Party in Singapore as it’s the best party there is, really happenin’ and groovin’” I wouldn’t get labeled a political blog and get shut down), but enough that if I wrote “I really appreciate all of you who came to our wedding” I could feel good in the fact that there’s a possibility that someone who came to my wedding would actually read it.

And yes, thank you.

Back. And as a Married Man.

It feels like ages since I last wrote here. And I suppose that feeling’s justified since it HAS been ages (almost a month!) Which is about as long as I haven’t gone out for a nice, good run. And which reminds me, I haven’t had a long run (anything over an hour) since my marathon last December (my, that’s an even longer ages ago…)

Donn and Li Shya at their wedding solemnisationSo, what have I been up to these past few weeks that I haven’t had time for updating edonn.com? Well, nothing much really. Only that I’ve been getting married (picture of me and Lix on the left — taken by our unofficial photographer Mr. Wei Hao Lee)! Yup, you heard that right, yours truly is now married (cue ambivalent music — happy tones 
for the joy of marriage, sad tones now that there’s one less very eligible bachelor out there).

Now that I’m free from the clutches of wedding-preps, does it mean that I’m now a free-and-easy-light-as-a-feather-chilled-to-the-max me? I wish. I’m back to work, grinding out not-so-personal projects that, let’s just say, will make me a stronger person. If I survive.

I probably will survive, even if just barely. Even if I’m so often at the brink of breaking down and crying like a two-year-old who just had his iPhone taken away one moment from setting an age-group high score. Just like many things in life, these projects are conse-inconsequential, quasi-consequential pieces of work that if work out great might bring me to places I’ve only dreamed about, but if fail will turn out to be just another chink in the flesh (sadly I ain’t got no armour), which will eventually heal back calloused and stronger than before.

Anyways, here’s a little shout-out for all who know me and who saw me in my somewhat-silly-looking-in-my-modern-mindset marriage garb, thanks for attending our wedding, Lix and I really appreciate you having made your way down (Perth, KL, all over Singapore — jeez, I’d have called in sick if I were you). I’ll post pictures of the wedding and our faux honeymoon to Bali (faux by virtue of its being too cheap and close to Singapore, according to the wife) as soon as they’re available and my projects let up a bit.

Until then, may you have a blessed life ahead. (I’m not typically religious, but I love how religion makes signing off so simple and sweet.)

As a bonus, here’s a poem I’d considered giving during my thank you speech but didn’t, for fear it’d be too difficult to comprehend over the noise and sheer bustle of the occasion.

…And finally, I’d like to thank Lix for being…

The yin to my yang,
The front to my back,
The left to my right,
The PC to my Mac.