On Right and Wrong and the Pitfalls of Advice

A man who beats his wife.
A wife who gets beaten.
A farmer, a businessman, and a preacher.
The man who buys the lottery and loses.
The man who buys the lottery and wins.
A man who drives too fast all the time.
A man who treats speed limits on roads as the word of the Lord.
A woman who decides to dedicate her life to teaching.
A woman who changes careers like she does a blouse.
A man who buys a Mac.
A woman who buys a PC.
A woman who prefers black.
A man who prefers blue.
A man who undergoes surgery to become a she.
A woman who undergoes surgery to become a he.

Who is to say whether or not the life we lead is right or wrong? The only thing we can say is that the lives we lead are different. Let us not judge, for judging presupposes that there is a right and there is a wrong.

On Advising Others

Most of the time we judge based on our past experiences, for that is all we have. But our past experiences are not always right. By doing something because it was successful the last time is the thinking of a sound mind. But even sound minds do not always get it right.

Learning through past experiences can often work for ourselves. We know our own limits, our own character, our own personality, better than most. But when we try to advise others through what we have learnt last time, we have to understand that not everyone’s like us.

When we advise others, we cannot demand that they follow our advice word-for-word. They may not think or feel the same, and may not have the skills necessary to carry out the plans you have devised for them.

Advice often attempts to make a person bypass the failure stage, which may be crucial for learning. If a person does not try and fail, he may not learn how to handle failure, or should difficulties occur at a later stage, he may be at a disadvantage.