The girlfriend sent me this Ang Pow Calculation table today. I wonder if it’s supposed to be some subtle but not-too-subtle hint. (To the girlfriend: If it is, I’m not getting it, I swear.)

The calculation used in the calculation of how much to give as “Ang Pow” is pretty standard fare. You generally will want to give the same amount it took to invite you — that is, if it costs $1,000 per table, and there are 10 people per table (as in most hotels/Chinese restaurants), then it’d generally be considered good form to give $100, to help cover costs.

Of course, there are variables, explained by the author (Celine Tan) at the bottom of the sheet. The relationship between you and the couple getting married plays an important part in how much you ought to give.

You know you’re getting old when your friends start forwarding you things like these. Seemed like only last year when I was getting those “let’s be friends forever” type of e-mails which were adorned with bears and floating hearts or the like. If I received this e-mail then I’d probably have deleted it pretty quick thinking it had nothing to do with me.

I can just imagine in how in what might seem like a few years time I might linger a little longer viewing deleting e-mails purporting to know the secrets of longer, harder erections, and how I might start regaining a full head of hair.