The Conversation is the Relationship

The following abstract is taken from the book Fierce Conversations, by Susan Scott:

During a keynote speech at TEC International’s annual conference several years ago, [David Whyte] suggested that in the typical marriage, the young man, newly married, is often frustrated that this person with whom he intends to enjoy the rest of his life seemingly needs to talk, yet again, about the same thing they talked about last weekend. And it often has something to do with their relationship. He wonders, Why are we talking about this again? I thought we settled this. Couldn’t we just have one huge conversation about out relationship and then coast for a year or two?

Apparently not, because here she is again. Eventually, if he is paying attention, it occurs to him, Whyte suggests, that “this ongoing, robust conversation he has been having with his wife is not about the relationship. The conversation is the relationship.”