While on a run I, feeling a little jaded, a little tired, started thinking how nice it’d be if I didn’t have to run.
Then I caught myself, and laughed a little at the absurdity of that thought.
Running has brought me much joy, and it is through running that some of my finest insights into life have come about. And that’s to say nothing of its physical benefits.
I don’t have to run. I choose to.
And yet, as soon as I laughed at its absurdity, I realised perhaps it wasn’t that absurd. Running is absurd – you run and run, get fitter, stronger, faster; 5K, 10K, half-marathon, marathon, ultras; PBs here and there; you peak; and then you get older, frailer, slower. Your bests behind you.
Was today the peak?
And yet here I am today, running. And in all likelihood there I will be tomorrow, running.
To what end?
No end. Just the journey.
A concurrent thought ran through my mind, of finances; of work and saving. In particular the ideas of Die With Zero – that of allowing yourself to spend when younger to accumulate experiences that you can then think about and draw on when older.
I liked that book. Didn’t agree completely with it but as an addendum to my beliefs about money it was useful.
I thought about how reluctant I am to spend, often opting for saving over spending, even when there was “experience” to be gained.
The best experiences, I find, are those that are free or close to it. Visiting libraries and beaches, people watching, and running come to mind.
I suspect it’s to do with my inclination to lean toward activities that allow me to have freedom from thinking about money. Or perhaps its my aversion to the blatant monetisation that occurs when high(er) sums of money are involved; there’s almost always a cross- or up-sell.
Instead of thinking about what I’m getting, I tend to think about what I’m not.
Sitting down after my run, I happened to look up at the moon and then around me, noticing the apartments and the people walking home after work. I thought about how a little more than 10 years ago this was all just undeveloped land; forests maybe. How quickly things change.
And yet from the moon looking down it probably wasn’t too different at all: the Earth’s still round, a few more lights here and there.
And silence. Just lots, and lots of silence.
Donn, fragments 