I’ve been thinking quite a bit about my studying in Perth. While still in Temasek Polytechnic, studying overseas had never crossed my mind. I always thought that those who went overseas had it good — that studying overseas was easy. And also that you only went overseas if you couldn’t make it to a local university.
On the latter, that appears to be mostly true. Most of the people here did not choose to come over here, save for a few. Most who come here did not graduate from their last place of study with excellent grades. Even if they did, it was not enough for them to secure a place in their course of choice at their local university.
I, too, did try to secure a place at a local university, though once the possibility of going overseas had entered my mind, my subsequent attempts were half-hearted at best.
I felt that the experience of going overseas would be good, or at least different. I wanted to know what people who studied overseas went through; I wanted to know if I would survive — if I would thrive.
Sometimes, though, I wonder if I had come here for the wrong reasons. The girl I had liked came to study here, and so did most of the girls I fell in love with sometime in my life. Could my coming here really be the playing out of some latent fantasy I have about how love could be found here? Hmm…
Back in Singapore, I had never studied as much as I have here. I used to think that anyone who studied when there were no tests or exams in the following weeks were nerds. Much as I hate to admit, I’ve become a nerd in this sense.
Staying in a hostel, you get to know just about exactly what people are doing, and most of them study quite a bit, though perhaps it’s a Singaporean thing (Currie Hall does have a surprisingly large number of Singaporeans)…
Studying is almost second nature over here, as you really have got nothing else left to do. I’ve found that besides sports and fantasising about the girl upstairs, the only thing left to do would be to study.
On Running and Abs
Running has been great, and I think that soon I’ll have my longed for six-pack abs. I believe they’re at the most a couple of months away. I’ve never had them before, and I sometimes feel like a child on Christmas eve, just waiting for midnight to unwrap his presents!
On Being Nice
I’ve do try to be nice most of the time. My actions I believe are mostly positive, even when my intentions are not. I’ve admitted this to a number of people: “hey, I think I think evil thoughts,” though nobody really takes me seriously. Hardly anyone has seen the dark side of me, which can be a harrowing experience. Let’s just say I save up my bad moods for when I really need it.
I’ve read somewhere that there’s no such thing as a platonic friendship between a girl and a guy. Half of me hates to admit it, but believes it’s true, while the other half admits it, and believes it’s true. This always tears me up inside for I would like to believe otherwise. Guys who have close relationships with girls, even those I would never consider a relationship with, always elicit some form of envy within me, even if I do not always admit it.
Perhaps it’s a guy thing, but then again, perhaps it’s me. These are one of my evil thoughts; I still have many, but admitting anymore of them would not, I believe, be the wisest thing for me to do. I’ll leave it at that: I think evil thoughts.
Being a nice person isn’t easy. It’s easy enough acting nice, but intentions are a whole different thing altogether. You can be nice, and do the right thing most of the time, but the thoughts that go on in your mind might be contrary to whatever you’re doing.
Which makes me wonder if good actions alone are enough, for changing my thoughts are certainly hard going. Which of these make greater weight on moral grounds: good deeds or good actions?
Onwards and forwards: to be a sportsman, gentleman and scholar!