I Feel like a Teenager

I stopped working at UniSIM about two weeks ago. So for the last couple of weeks, I’ve had considerably more time on my hands than I’ve had for the last couple of years (when I was doing my full-time National Service in the army).

I’ve always lamented on the lack of time in the army, and have actually written before that the worst punishment handed out by the army are those that eat into your free-time. So shouldn’t I be feeling great that I now have more time than I can handle?

Well, I’m not. What’s wrong with me?

Time to Think

I’m finding all this time I have on my hands quite depressing. Not least because I’m the only one who seems to have it. I want to spend time with people, but people don’t seem to have the time to spend with me.

This is a strange situation for me to be in.

The Introvert

I’ve been introverted most my life, living very well by myself, enjoying solitude and quiet, and hating social events. Being alone felt good.

It was only after being posted to 1 SIR (Singapore Infantry Regiment) that I developed in myself an extroverted streak, no thanks to my insanely extroverted CSM (Company Sergeant Major), as well as the nature of my job there, where “connections” were everything to getting the job done.

Now being alone feels, well, lonely.

I’ve tried reading, but there’s a limit to how much you can read when what you really crave is some sort of human interaction. The feeling is very similar to that of eating. When you crave some food, you can satisfy that craving temporarily by eating something else, but soon the craving comes back, and until you satisfy that craving with that exact food, it isn’t ever going to go away.

I think I need girlfriend.

Oh God, I’m feeling more like a teenager now than I ever.

MaYbE i sHoUlD jUsT eNd ThIs wItH sTiCkY cApS.