Welcome to life after death

Welcome to life after death.
You do know it’s life after death, don’t you?
Yes, yes, welcome.
Shall you like a cuppa tea?
Ah, coffee, no Englishman I see.

Shakespeare, you do know who he is?
once said all the world’s a stage —
not very true: a play’s got to end
sometime, but he knows it now.
He has quite a legacy, don’t you think?
Yours were footprints in the sand,
maybe you’ll do more this time?

Ah, there she comes! the lovely lady —
she’s yours for this life, but you’ve got to find her;
she could be placed anywhere, anywhere at all.
Maybe Asia, maybe Scandanavia — it doesn’t
matter.
Find her before she finds out who’s hers,
things will be simpler that way.

God’s taking a break this time, so
you’ll probably be an aethist, unless he decides
to come back for whatever reason — six lifetimes’
an awful long time to work, and he likes to take
a rest during number seven: it’s his favourite
number.

So run along now, and go out and live your life.
Any reason you need to return here, just go
to any of the designated spots (we’ve marked it
out for you in your brain), and choose the option
called “death”. You’ll come back to this place,
where you can decide whether or not to continue,
or restart your life again.
Quite simple, yes?