Life

A cluttered out leads to cluttered in; life’s a swirl now of “what’s next?” and “how come?” and “damnit get the f*** out of here!” and “leave me alone!”; but at the very same time it’s got “ohmagawd this is great!” and a good “you serious?” and “wow.”

I sit at my desk plotting and planning what my next moves should be; at 27 the decisions I make now will extend for possibly another 50 years or so. At every turn I’m asking is this the right move? But I don’t know and I start worry. And when I’m finally thinking everything’s settled more questions come my way. Though I think oh man why are there all these uncertainties? I miss the fact that it’s always been this way and always will be: just a shitload of questions and uncertainties and living with them as best we can.

And behind me she sleeps, looking so at peace.

Sometimes I ask, why do we have to wake up?