I received the results of one of my mid-semester just the other day. I got a little above what I had expected — I had expected a pretty low score — and was more relieved than anything else when I saw what I had gotten; but even with this sense of relief, deep down inside I was feeling at the very same time a little disappointed.
The gambler (the irrational optimist) in me knew that though I should be expecting a reasonably low mark, there was actually a possibility that I might get a pretty high one. But that disappointment faded away quickly, and I returned to that feeling of relief, and that of gratitude, soon after.
Something within me inspired me to write on my hand the following: “Work harder; feel BETTER.”
I suppose it had to do with my knowing that this result was a gift from God; a lifeline He threw to me, allowing me to hold to the dream of achieving what I had set out to do.
Much as I hate to admit it, I never really studied hard enough, or smart enough, than I would have liked; subject to distractions, more often than not self-imposed, my studies have taken a backseat to my myriad of interests. And yet, here I am realising, that as much as I have deviated from my original course, an invisible hand has turned me back right again, telling me it’s alright, and that if I just worked at it, anything is possible.