Bad Puns

Warming: Using these puns may get you seriously injured. (“In Jured? Where’s Jured?”)

• Lying in bed at night, I swore to tell the truth one day.
• In two years, I have ear wax.
• “You very mean, ah!” “Yes, you very minah…” (It’s Melayu)
• “Have you ever met a politician who stands?” “Huh?” “I mean, they all just keep lying you know.”
• “Have you any nice puns?” “Naw. All my pants are ugly.”
• “You heard about the protein powder?” “Yeah. I heard the anti-teen organisation banned it.”
• “Okay, my telephone number’s 6373-7852.” “He did?” “Huh?” “Seven ate five too? Wow… I guess nine wasn’t enough.”