Dramtic Change

I think somtimes we don’t change because we’re afraid of what other people might say. If we suddenly decide to change, people just won’t believe us.

Take for example a man who used to beat up his wife. One day, he decides then and there that he wants to start loving her instead. He buys her flowers, and takes her out for dinner. His friend, who beats up his wife, finds this behaviour of his friend odd, and asks,

“Why did you do that?”

“I’ve been changing.”

“Yeah right.”

His disbelieving friend casts some doubts on his own thoughts. He wonders if he really changed, or if it was just going to be temporary. His friends all treat him as a wife-beater still, and do not believe his actions are without motives. Soon, he goes back to beating his wife.

But if we got into something like a car accident, or we went for some camp, some adventure holiday, we can come back and change and attribute everything to it. So this man, before he decides to stop beating his wife, gets into a car accident. After the accident, he becomes a changed man. He goes out and buys his wife flowers, and takes her out for dinner. His friend asks,

“Why did you do that?”

“The car accident enlightened me. I realised what’s most important in my life, my family.”


His friend’s remark re-enforces his belief that he has changed. As more and more of his friends notice the difference in him, and yet don’t give sarcastic remarks regarding his changed ways, he fills the role of wife-lover even better, and his wife-beater days persona is gotten rid of.

A leopard never changes its spots, unless it has a good reason to. That reason must not only satisfy himself, but also those around him.

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