Solitude is something I haven’t had for a very long a time.
Staying in a place like Currie Hall (a student hostel just off the University of Western Australia) has meant that I have found very little, if any, time and/or opportunities to be alone.
Solitude, for me, is a need, not a want. I believe everyone needs some time alone to clear their minds. While some people require only a little bit of time alone to recharge, others need a little more.
Through experience, I have found that I fall into the latter group.
And that’s why I’m currently proposing the idea of getting away from it all a few days this week. To just hide myself and shy away from people: to disappear completely.
Maybe after this, I’ll be able to focus more energies into the masking of myself, letting other people see what they want to see: my happier side.
The Tipping Point
I had been pretty much okay for the past few weeks since arriving here in Perth. But over the past week, I have been feeling more sapped of energy than ever before.
Then this morning came the tipping point.
Hoping to get some time alone, I went down for breakfast a little late. It wasn’t long, however, before I was joined by a couple of people staying on my floor.
Let’s just say that some comments were passed by one of them that made me excuse myself early.
I wanted to ask her, “I don’t judge you, why do you judge me?”
But for her sake and mine, I dropped the matter.
The problem with community living is that you see people long enough to think you can make accurate judgements of their character. But who are we to judge?
I think it is time for me to disappear for a while. And I hope they won’t judge me on that.