Archive for January, 2008
29 Jan, 2008
Speedy Recovery
I visited a friend today at hospital. His sister has been hospitalised for about two months now after an accident.
I don’t know how I may help, but pray for her. And I hope you, too, can pray for her and her family.
May she make a speedy and full recovery soon. And may her family hear her laughter and feel her joy in the near future.
27 Jan, 2008
Distractions of the Doctor
You might have noticed that I’ve changed the look of the site. Early on in the day, I had to decide between changing to to a Drupal installation or upgrading my old Wordpress installation. I decided on the former, but after some unsuccessful attempts at exporting the data, decided to settle on the latest Wordpress installation instead.
But still, I’m not quite satisfied, and am probably going to try my hand at creating my own program from scratch, which will give me a lot more flexibility and allow me to get back up to speed with PHP5 and MySQL. But these things are still filed away as “maybe/someday”. A part of me still wants to use Drupal.
Coincidentally, I had actually read a piece of Zen writing this morning that appeared to suggest an answer to my problem on deciding upon whether to use Drupal, Wordpress, or coming up with a whole system of my own. It seemed to suggest that I should just do what I do best. I guess the gist of it was: what is it that I can do that will offer the largest payoff?
I’m still thinking about it.
A well-known doctor in the twentieth century was a good amateur potter, and sometimes had parties of his patients at which he showed them his work. Once he invited a Zen master whom he knew slightly. The master arrived as a small bowl as being passed round, and they waited for his opinion. He looked round solemnly and said:
‘If any of you are ill in the future, I advise you not to call in this man. Because he must be a terrible doctor!’
There was dead silence. Then one old man asked: ‘But why, master?’
‘His heart’s not in his medicine, that’s why. Look at this bowl. Oh, it’s well enough, no doubt, but not up to professional standards, so even as a bowl it doesn’t really stand. And this man — he collects patients simply so that he can show them his pots!’
The doctor took it to heart and abandoned the artist’s vanity which had taken such a deep hold and was impairing his study of medicine.
This story motivated me to question my life’s motives. My life has been, thus far, mostly a generality. I haven’t really ever focused on any area of my life. Though I believe that this has aided me tremendously while I was younger, allowing me to experience plenty of possibilities as I sought my true calling, I had better start making concrete decisions, carving out an identity and destiny for myself.
I want to have something that I will be willing to die for, without which I have nothing to live for, either.
26 Jan, 2008
Living with Her
“Living together is not easy,” he told me, while he nibbled away at the chicken in front of him.
Zixuan and I were at a KFC outlet at Hougang Point, with he having his post-IPPT dinner, with me as accompaniment. We were, as usual, discussing girlfriends.
“I once had a friend,” he continued, “who lived with his girlfriend, and they quarrelled a lot when they started living together.”
I looked at him, thinking “yes, I’ve heard this a million times before, so you don’t have to tell me.” I have heard this before, though I’ve always never really fully explored this topic. But having been through a rather unpleasant experience only just the previous year with Martin (it’s not at all his fault, it’s just I think we both needed some space), while we were staying in combined hostel rooms, I thought it prudent to at least start exploring this issue a little more.
I had lived with others in shared quarters before, while serving my National Service in the army. I’ve lived in bunks consisting of four to twelve beds without encountering any issues with my bunk-mates, most of whom were very nice people. But I guess in the army the psychology is radically different, with tolerance not only being something “nice to have”, but vital to our survival and sanity.
“So,” I said, “any tips on living with girlfriends?” I was genuinely curious, and was open to any input he might have.
“You are bound to quarrel,” he said, “and it’ll be down to the guys to fix it.” He continued, “whatever you do, always let the girl win.”
I had a look of incredulity on my face, while he had one of a knowing sage.
Taking another bite out of the chicken, he suddenly asked, “is this the thigh? How come I can’t seem to finish eating it?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“If ever you both get upset and either start to quarrel, or are going to start, just let her win. Just keep quiet, and learn to apologise and take it that you’re wrong — even if you’re not.”
I shook my head, thinking this was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever said (and he’s said many ridiculous things), and was about to tell him so when he added, “then after she’s cooled down and things are going well again, tell her why she was wrong the last time in a nice way.”
I couldn’t resist chuckling, and I nodded my head. “That’s good!” I told him.
“And,” he continued, “she won’t know what hit her!”
21 Jan, 2008
The Second Guess
There are days where I second-guess this romance.
And ask, “is this true love, or just my imagination?”
Then thinking about my thinking I stop mid-thought, and
Berate myself for this blasphemous contemplation.
But do not fault me for thinking twice about us.
Because when it comes to you, believe me, I am serious.
More than just summer, autumn, winter and spring,
You are, my dear, my everything.
19 Jan, 2008
Beauty World (and Thanks)
I’ve just returned from a company-sponsored dinner and musical (Beauty World). Beauty World’s a local musical, and though I wasn’t expecting much from it, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
This was the first time I attended a musical in ages, and the first one I’ve watched at the Esplanade. Though I wouldn’t be able to justify spending $102 on it, if you have the opportunity to go for it cheaply (or even free), do not miss the chance to. It’s catered strongly toward a Singaporean audience, with generous amounts of Chinese dialect and local humour thrown in; with that it mind, it’s also notable that there were plenty of caucasians in the audience as well, many of whom appeared to have enjoyed it.
Revelation
But what I want to write about here isn’t about the musical, but rather how halfway through the show I felt a strong sense of gratitude. It was during a scene where the actors lined up in a row, one behind the other, before running out in separate directions. This wasn’t the first time I’ve seen it done and I have, in fact, seen it done plenty of times.
But the thing that stood out this time? the realisation that they were lined up directly in front of me; in other words, I was seated facing the absolute centre of the stage. And it was right there and then, that I realised I had arguably the best seat in the house.
I started thinking about the events leading up to where I was, not just where I was physically at that time (i.e. the Beauty World musical), but also where I was along in life. I started to think about how fortunate I was in so many areas of my life.
- How fortunate I am to have got a job in HVB (HypoVereinsBank). It pays extremely well (more than I could have hoped for), great benefits (including this musical!), very challenging work (I think my proficiency in MS Excel went from “OK” to “Advanced”!), wonderful colleagues (the very ones who urged me to attend this musical, without which I most certainly wouldn’t have gone), and the fact that I actually look forward to work each day.
- How fortunate I am to be studying in Australia, and doing, by my standards, very well academically. Studying in Australia has also enabled to meet a girl whom I feel so comfortable with, with whom I don’t feel like I have to impress (but would love so much to), and whom manages (so far!) to tolerate my sometimes extreme habits of thrift and PMS-like mood-swings!
- And I’ve always felt lucky to have some of the running genes from my dad, who was himself an avid runner in his younger days. Without much training at all, I have managed to be “above-average” in my running; with a little training, I have managed to participate in several competitions (just making up the numbers, no doubt, but still darn exciting). (Of course, his running genes came intertwined with the genes for his thinning hair!)
- I can’t think about my dad’s running genes without thinking about the brainy genes that my mom passed on to me. Though most of the family’s smarts went to my sis and bro, enough of it made its way to mine, I’ve received more than my fair share!
There’s probably plenty of other things for me to be grateful for. But the point is that it just all came to me in the middle of the musical, like an epiphany one gets while meditating.
I pray I am able to receive such feelings of gratitude everyday.