Archive for October, 2006
13 Oct, 2006
5:30
He looks at the clock. It reads “5:00″.
He is a little anxious.
“5:15″ and he taps his fingers on his desk.
His colleagues wonder if woodpeckers ever get headaches with all the tapping they do.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
It’s 5:25. A bead forms on his temple. An ant below drowns in the dead sea.
5:29. Click/Click. The computer gives its final whurrr.
5:30 arrives! The battle won, he THRUSTS his hands up in the air, and dashes out for a celebratory drink with friends.
9:30 prompts another sip of that beer.
And he remembers 5:30.
And the victory.
But he sighs;
for in another 11 hours another battle will ensue.
But wait!
time stops!
as 34-24-34 walks by.
10 Oct, 2006
Apple Onsite Repairs?
As I was thinking of getting a MacBook from Apple and bringing it over with me to UWA (University of Western Australia), I decided to take a look at their “AppleCare Protection Plan for MacBook Pro/PowerBook“.
I scanned through the text once quickly, and decided that it wasn’t for me. But an asterisk at the bottom of the page caught my eye:
Hmm… “Onsite service is not available in all locations”? Now, what on earth is that about? So I scrolled up, and saw this:
So Apple, your protection plan will give me peace of mind? And I’d probably give you a piece of mine.
To all readers, I’d just like to thank you for reading. To show my appreciation, and generosity, I’ll give you a million dollars for reading this.*
* Yeap, you guessed it, million dollar reward for reading not available at all locations.
7 Oct, 2006
The Tricky Business of Identity
“Who are you, really?” asks she.
“I am who you think I am.” says he.
“Don’t play games with me.”
“Who else could I be? Tell me.”
“I want to know what you think most people think you are.”
“Popular opinion does not a man make.”
“A man’s identity is only so much as people — society — sees it to be. Society bases itself on popular opinion. A good man, if by popular opinion is made bad, is a bad man.”
“So I am not who I think I am?” asks he.
“No. You are what people think you are.” says she.
7 Oct, 2006
On Humility
Q: What do you think is your strongest attribute?
I would go for humility. Humility is, I find, the best policy.
Q: Humility is the best policy? That’s interesting. How about honesty? Do you not think that’s important?
Humility is in itself a lie.
3 Oct, 2006
From Dawn to Dusk
If I married a girl called Dawn…
It is early morning. Phone rings.
“Hi, can I speak to Dawn please?” says she.
“Donn speaking,” says I.
“No, Dawn. I want to speak to Dawn.”
“Erm, yeah. Donn here.”
“No, Dawwwn,” stresses she.
“Oh, Dawwwn,” stresses I. “Hold on a minute please.”
Meanwhile, Dawn’s in the study.
“Dawn darling,” says I, “it’s your call.”
“What’s that dear?,” says her, “my call?”
Dawn stares out of the window. She seems deep in contemplation.
“Yes, darling” says I, rolling my eyes, “I think it’s Angela. She’s looking for Dawwwn.”
“Hmm… Dear?” says she.
“Yes?” says I.
“I’ve been thinking ’bout what you said last night regarding our names, the confusion and all that…” says she, “maybe I should change my name.”
“That would be most helpful darling. We can’t just go changing mine can we? We do have eDonn.com to think about.”
“Yes dear, I understand… I’ve decided on ‘Dusk’,” says she.
“Dusk? Dusk. I like that. Dusk darling. I love it. I’ll go inform Angela.”
“Thanks dear.”
I walk over to the phone.
“Hi, this Angela?” asks I.
“Yes. I’m looking for Dawn,” asks she.
“Yes, about that. Just like to inform you Dawn can’t come over to the phone right now. She’s busy.”
“Busy? Oh,” says she.
“She’s changing her name. Perhaps you could call tonight?” says I.
“Tonight?”
“Yes. You see, she’s changing her name from Dawn to Dusk.”