Archive for November, 2004
6 Nov, 2004
Keeping Evil Thoughts to Oneself
I listened as my friend told me how terrible so-and-so was. How he was “all talk, no action”, and that he dreaded the thought of his pairing up with so-and-so during certain times.
I wondered if I should have been listening to this.
Too many times have I been subjected through this behind-the-back bad-mouthing only to build up a certain bias against the person being bad-mouthed, even after I consciously build up resistance to this gossip.
I make it a personal promise never to talk behind another’s back, unless it benefits that other. If you talk bad behind another’s back, it shows more of your own character than the person you are talking about.
6 Nov, 2004
Fieldcamp
I came back from fieldcamp just yesterday. Quite far from what I had expected — it was pure hell.
It is a wonder I managed to go through all of it without breaking at some point; I was absolutely tempted to just scream and shout and act like I had really lost it. Alas, I maintained my sane fascade and pushed through… just.
It was not so much the physical aspects of fieldcamp that made it so hellish; it was more of a mind game, me versus myself. My fondness for cleanliness and hygiene, so long held sacred by me, had to be cast aside, replaced by dirt and grime.
And the feeling of powerlessness, that one cannot do anything to escape one’s circumstances, was horrible. To go against anyone ranked higher, would constitute and offence — no longer can you fight individuals; to stand up now would be standing up against the government, standing up against the country.
I wonder though, when the time comes, if I would stay and fight a war for Singapore — just what is it that makes one willing to die for a country?